Simply ScorlrocS ylpmiS

things ain't good

2010-03-17T11:06:00.002+08:00

the fact that i actually came back here again to blog ain't a good thing at all. its being a year since i last came here. i am once again at my low low point in life. i am overwhelmed with feelings. i can feel hatred more than i feel love. facing a lot of unneccessary stress which i give myself. just started a new job in a not so new environment. and maybe tat could be part of the reason why i am giving myself so much stress. depression sinks in. inferiorty complex sink in. all the god damn negative things are sinking in. i can't think i can't love myself. it just filled with despise. i dunno where to go and so i came here to pour it out. and hopefully i am really able to pour it out. but i doubt so. if i am really able to pour it out and stand on my 2 feets firmly again i would have days ago after talking to him. but the same old bloody thing remains. some thing needs to be done. but i dunno how to? or am i too lazy to? i know an office job doesn't suits me at all. cos i am not someone who is good in paperworks or likes to do paperworks. but i have let myself in. i should be tryign my best and giving all i could. but have i? can i? i dunno just full of doubts and inferiority and laziness. i sucks!

unsafe

2008-10-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

i feel so unsafe. ya so unsafe to even blog here. freak out.. but i shall not be harm by u and allow u to hurt my friends.

bar girl look. ha ha

2008-09-23T20:36:00.000+08:00

today learn gala dinner make up. quite bar girl feel. ha ha. anyway was feeling moderate ok today. ha ha.

if only

2008-09-21T23:03:00.001+08:00

i wonder how nice would it be if i have someone doing tat to me too...

weeeee... ahhhh.... weeee... ahh....

2008-09-14T23:22:00.002+08:00

dots.......... have so so much to say. but dunno how to say. dun feel like saying as well. oh well. its mid autumn today. bought mooncakes for collegus and the isetan staffs. suddenly feel like celebrating . ha ha.

all well today.

and i am having my normal mood swing as well. ha ha.

last night work at zouk was ok.

things still going well. still trying to keep track and control of myself...

foul mood

2008-09-09T00:54:00.002+08:00

not feeling good. in a foul mood.lost my exlink card.. haiz... sian man.. hate myself for being so blur. i am constantly losing my things. haiz... tml hving an assingment again. a bit scare. i am havign doubts about my ability. i am not having confidence of myself. i dunno if i am able to do it or not. i dunno... i feel so lost and inferior. i just wanna play and have fun and slp for all i want. dunno wanna think about it. but i cna;t help it. the day is drawing near. and i haven;t found my model yet. haiz.. i am having doubt. can i really do tat kind of look? can i? can me do it? will i really be able to do it. it all looks so, chim.. am i really a professional? i dunno. i am starting to have doubts with myself. i needed some enncouragement and words of comfort. but i dun wanna self deceive myself too. can i really do it???

weeeeeeeee...........

2008-09-07T22:36:00.002+08:00

wahaha hahahaha. it has been so long......
ha ha ha ha ha.

finally i get my 12 hours of beauty slp!!! ha ha ha ha!! muahahahahahahha!! ha ha. really forgot when is the last time i have 12 hours of slp. ha ha. today is really a day just for me myself and i! aha ha. wake up late. ignore my phone. dun wanna reply any sms read any sms. ha ha. play maple do thesis watch tv. wahahaha. keep to myself enjoy my own off day. ha ha. just that at the end need to show concern for friend so chat a bit with friends. right now chatting with a stranger. ya. i add a stranger on my msn. know him thru friendster. ha ha. just feel like playing with fire. lol.

disappointment

2008-09-02T05:43:00.002+08:00

kk i just reach home. ya. just reach home. went out with my colleagues. recenty got a few happenings. carmen is no longer my as! haiz!!!! she is such a nice nice person. oh well all good things have to come to an end. so went k box with them. to sort of farewell for her and also to celebrate mojo jojo birthday at the same time.have fun. but i do noe that my heart wasn't there. i was having depression. ya. dunno y too.over stress? but can't possibly be. having my 1 week break from drm leh. i oso dunno. just not feeling very myself. yes i did went crazy and stuffs. but i noe inside myself wat i am feeling.
i am so so so disappointed with myself. a simple 60s make up i can't draw it properly.hate myself! y can;t i draw it right!! jsut wat the hell us wrong with me!!!

anyway on thurs the high thing was the my model win miss smu! ha ha. but after today i thinknothing much to be high bout. cos she won due to her looks. nothing to do with the make up at all...

drank beer today. its awful! i really dun like beer. it taste horrible. but i am still learning to accept the taste of beer. a bit tipsy now. although i drank less than 1 bottle of beer. ya thats my alcohol limit. i am trying to make myself suitable for u.. i know i am being stupid....

high high into the sky

2008-08-29T00:36:00.000+08:00

its another high high into the sky blog. ha ha. so happy!! ha ha. but then i read this

Save all of your outrageous antics for another time -- today you'll want to keep things on the down-low. Ironically, being subdued will end up getting you a lot more attention than being flashy would. Being loud and flamboyant is a problem right now -- it could jar people too much and cause them to focus on the wrong aspects of your personality. It's your quiet confidence that will really help people understand what you're all about and what you bring to the table.

so i dunno if i should blog about it or not. ha ha. maybe i'll just stay low profile and blog about it another time. h aha. lol. lol! ha ha.

haiz...

2008-08-27T01:10:00.000+08:00

its the exam week. and i have another oral thingy tml. haiz.. really dun feel like studying for it at all. i have som much more better things to do lor.haiz.. but i still have to go and study.. haiz...
it happen le.. he ask me about it. haiz.. when will i walk out of it? haiz....

zombie...

2008-08-26T01:08:00.000+08:00

think recently i am overworked liao. so much to the extend that i am unaware of wat i am doing or saying. temper getting shorter. almost quarrel with that idiot. duno wats wrong. now whole brain going in swirl. dunno wat i wanna write too. haiz.. back to my zombie kind of life..
i need u to brighten up my life..

running away

2008-08-22T00:24:00.002+08:00

as per normal i am running away from my problems once again. running away. hiding away. no guts to face my problem. dunno wat i am doing. dunno. only know tat i want to see u online. wanna see u online only. i dunno y. just wanna see u online. but dun wanna dun dare to talk to u. dunno wat to talk to u. u are busy. very busy. u have a bright future. a bright prospect. hardworking. serious in ur school. not like me. not like me. someone who always run away from problems. a coward. constantly wasting my time. chosing the wrong things. doing the wrong things. facing the same stress.
i dunno.. i dunno. running away.. running away..
wanted to say sorry to u. sorry.... i am reading ur blog. constantly almost daily. yes. ur blog is the one and only blog tat i am keeping myself updated. i am not happy to see her leaving so many comments. ur new found girlfriend. i am feeling jealous. but who i am to feel jealous. i am a nobody. just a normal normal female friend of urs.
trying hard to get over u. but i can't and i given up trying to give up on u. sometimes some things are impossible to give up and u have made me realise tat.
too busy to give up on u. and having u in my heart doesn;t affect much of my life. so y not just let u to continue staying in my heart till i have got the time and energy to chase u out. ha ha. i really miss u..

project

2008-08-18T07:10:00.000+08:00

sort of just finish my ppt for today presentation liao.. just clear up the stuffs. haiz..

national day

2008-08-09T22:43:00.001+08:00

its NATIONAL DAY TODAY!!! HA HA!!
work place was quiet today. at night all went over to watch fireworks so work place was quiet. ha ha.

rough patch

2008-08-05T00:44:00.001+08:00

being going through a rough patch theses few days. too me so long to actually stand up again. the pressure is actually tat huge. feeling a lot better le.

deep sleep

2008-08-02T09:51:00.001+08:00

i just feel like falling into a deep deep sleep and dun ever wanna wake up again...

dead damn tire

2008-07-31T23:52:00.002+08:00

i am freaking tire and worn out!!! isetan having promotions. as per normal is uber busy. was like uber busy the whole day. drain out my energy. still have to rush out projects later. haiz.. tats the life i have chose so who the hell am i to complain about it....

haiz...

2008-07-31T11:44:00.001+08:00

haiz.. the feeling is still lingering. if u have read the previous blog i poster earlier u would have know wat i am feeling.

roller coaster day

2008-07-26T05:57:00.002+08:00

ha ha. today is another roller coaster day. isn't it? morning can't wake up. late for class. but i was quite late for class is becos i waited close to half an hour for the bus. went for the hairstyling class. learn a new knot thing. hee hee. seems a bit easier.
kk then do the male hairstyle. dots... as per normal. i am not myself when we have to bring model. ha ha. just somehow i dunno how to do and dun dare to do when i need to do on a model.
talk crap laugh after classes.
everything seem quite ok. my mood not bad. work is fine.

its only the last part. dun need more reminders tat i dun belong to there anymore and i am the unwanted one. but who i am to feel angry or sad over it? afterall i only got myself to blame. if i wasn't that short of money due to my enormous spending i need not go back there and work. the fun and laughter of working there has disappear from the day i tender my letter...

i realise u and him are telling me the same thing..

jasmine wedding

2008-07-21T11:57:00.002+08:00

its jasmine wedding yesterday!!ha ha. finally the big day has come. went over to her house for a stay over on sat. have fun. ha ha.

yesterday being her jie mei and followed her everywhere. get to do hairstyle for 2 persons and make up for another 2 persons.

hmmm but the scary part came. i drink too much. ha ha. drink quite a few glasses of red wine. then whole body went red. heart beat super fast. keep giggling and i cry eventually. dun ask me y but i just feel like crying. but luckily i cry when i am with my friends. went out with my friends after the wedding dinner. i dun really feel tat sober. a bit can't walk tat straight. and i vomitted when i reach home. dots..

oh well hopefully i wun do such kind of things again le. ha ha.

but i am so so happy for u jasmine!!! ha ha.

tire

2008-07-17T04:46:00.001+08:00

just got back. work work and work. i ask for it de lor. spent too much liao. having cash flow problem. no choice but to work. today was at bar 2. SCARY!! uber busy. the moment i step into the counter i am settling bills all the way till i knock off. busy counter sia. and i think i have done something wrong again! haiz.. but ok la.at least everything still seems quite ok overall bah. very tire. but hair still wet. gonna immerse myself into the virtual world till my hair are dry.

was late for work today. very late. i am so lacking in self discipline. haiz.. wat the hell is wrong with me?!

back from partying

2008-07-13T03:48:00.002+08:00

just got home. went st james the boiler room and also dragonfly. its fericia birthday on the 15th so he invited us to go for her party tonight. didn;t really have tat much fun. cos didn;t really have a feel of sense of belonging. didn't drink at all. only drink mocktail and have some food. tats all. dance a bit bah. after all tat place ain't zouk. so i really dun feel safe.
the place is weird. they didn't really have a dance floor. but they have a big stage with live band singing on and off. then have some lame lame thing. they dun have babbge counter only lockers so u'll have to pay for it. then their valet service that can sent u home cos 60 bucks. its ex sia.
the most amusing thing happen. i fall alsp while dancing in dragonfly. ha ha. was dancing in dragonfly. he place so bright and too many lights. felt uncomfortable opening my eyes. so i close my eyes and dance. was thinking about some stuffs. without i realising it i have day dream and fall aslp liao. only when my friend jerk me did i know i fell aslp. ha ha.
think i am too tire le bah.
as per normal i am working on sunday. haiz.. need a break. but too broke to take a break from work liao.

my dearest sis

2008-07-07T23:41:00.003+08:00

wahahaha. sis is back in town! ha ha. went to look for her today once my lesson ends. ha ha so nice. lesson ends early today. so i get to spent more time with her. ha ha. finally i get to went into that shop and eat. ok la. not tat ex la. belongs to the average range. after all i order the student meal. ha ha.

bought a blouse from zara. on sales. bought it for around 35 bucks. yes i know i am wasting money again. but i need shopping therapy. hee hee. was thinking of wearing it to the wedding bah. but then soemhow it doesn't look suitable for the wedding leh. sian man. feel like smsing j and tell her i dun wanna be her jie mei liao. ha ha. cos i can't find the right clothes to wear. lol. think she will kill me. hee hee.

didn;t spent much time with sis la. but its quality time lor. hee hee. she need to leave early to have food at home.

then later i guai guai go for lessons lor. :p

not me

2008-07-07T01:11:00.001+08:00

i am just not me. talking gibberish. nose block. brain block. as usual there's a blue black on my head. quite painful but used to it le.

better by a bit, ha ha.

2008-07-06T19:02:00.002+08:00

went to visit siti in hospital today. had a nice long chat with her. feeling a bit better. actually was a lot better when i was with her. but now tat i am back oh well...
hope she get well soon.

club armani

2008-06-30T22:56:00.002+08:00

ha ha. today went to club armani to look for j. lol. ha ha. first timein my life going to tat kind ofplace. its quite sleasy.... ha a. but i didn't have much to worry about cos j is there to protect me. lol. haha. tat place a lot of uncles. ha ha. so used to zouk and the comfort zone. so went there it was like dots..... so many chinese ladies there.

late for class. so took a cab there. the uncle was weird but quite nice. was a bit scare of him. he talks a lot. and vioce was loud. got to keep entertaining him. dun feel tat comfortable talking to strangers. somemore the uncle topic all so weird. talk about murder case. dots..

well today is a weird day. but was a happy one too as i saw and chat with j. ha ha. long time no see and chat with j liao. ha ha. so happy. ha ha.

blurrr...

2008-06-30T00:22:00.002+08:00

dunno if i am falling sick soon or not. been sneezing today. ya ya. been emo. i know iknow. too emo is not good for me. but can't help it. been doing lots of weird things and thinking lots of weird things as well.

ur words jerks me awake. i have change. have i? i dunno. am i just being the person who i really want to? or have i really change? and if i have change was it due to the environment and place. has the environment change me? have it? am i being who i really want to? am i behaving the way i really should behave? i dunno?

am i really doing the right things? am i thinking the right htings? am i feeling the right way? am i?
feeling so blur.

headach.. haven't do homework

tml drm classes... lost interest... have fear... wat to do?..

high high into the sky

2008-06-29T02:48:00.002+08:00

just got back from partying. drink like dunno wat today.drink a lot. today isthe first time in life i drink so so much. but i am not tat drunk. if not i wouldn't be abel to blog. now i know y ppl chose to drink to drown their sorrow. cos when u are real high u really don't think so much. although i was very high today i still noe wat i am doing. aware of wat i am going through and wat i am encountering. yes. i can't walk tat straight. was swaying left and right. having headache and giddiness. but i am still fine and ok. i decided to let myself go and take a break and i did. didn't wanna be such a goody goody girl anymore today and i did. threw away the burdens of mine a nice mummy girl today. dressing wasn't so much of the usual conservative me. behaviour wasn't so much like me. just drink when i feel like. i feel safe. yes i did. although it was crowded today. and yes. there was times when i felt unsafe. but i did manage to make myself be alert and as clear headed as possible. i am still who i am. still have that tiny bit of self discipline in me. did stop drinking when i really can't try to keep myself clear headed by asking for ice water lemons lime. anything tat can keep me relatively clear. kk. i didn't really stop drinking when i am suppose to. ha ha. its my friends who stop me from continuing to drink. ha ha. and i do know the consequence i need to face tml. but who cares. i really did enjoy myself today. i really did let myself go and not have and burden or pressure on my shoulder today. i let myself become who i wanna become today. i enjoy myself. i live a life call life today. i was a teenager for today! :)
gonna remember today and u! ha ha.

tire..

2008-06-20T02:24:00.000+08:00

waiting for someone to come online can be a tiring thing..

gibberish

2008-06-20T01:13:00.000+08:00

lacking of slp causes me to talk gibberish. felt a bit lost. ha ha.
if u have read my previous entry u will know how gibberish i am. ha ha.

feeling full and high

2008-06-14T01:31:00.002+08:00

ha ha. so i only slept for 2 hours plus? lol and that got me very high today. lol. the lecturer even tot i was drunk. lol. didn't know wat i have done to give her tat impression. a bit tire. still can't slp cos hair is wet and i am extremely full!! ha ha. went to have supper with my classmates. i mean my drm classmates. went to newton for supper. only 9 of us went. but we really have fun. ha ha. now very full. lol.
saw a clothes today. really like it. though its not my usual style. very lady like. well but its something i always likes to wear. ha ha. maybe not in front of my friends bah. cos they gonna find it weird. such clothings is wat i normally wear when i am out with my family or relatives or those who doesn't know me tat well. ha ha. well in the end i didn't buy as my size wasn't available. left with the big sizez tat seems to be too loose. somemore tat kind of material seems to expand after washing. might as well. it helps me to save my money.
a bit short of money recently. but well i am scor! ha ha. short of money just push myself harder in earning money lor. ha ha. take up more slots and earn more money. not gonna just sit on the sofa and moan about not having enough money. ha ha. but i will grumble about fatigue. ha ha.
tml is the day! ha ha.
gonna be in zoo before 8. lol. not sure if i could wake up on time or not. i am quite tire and exhausted le. ha ha. but i still enjoy wat i am doing. even if i dun i will still force myself to press on. after all this is the path i have chosen and i have to finish walking it. gonna stop been an ostrich.
feeling quite stress and pressure. but have no channels to let it out currently. cos after all its the bed i have lay myself and i got to laid it in. however tough it is i shouldn't grumble.
the stress and pressure is slowly building up in me...

not having enough slp does make me high to a certain extent. but it will also make me bad temper soon too.....

sick

2008-06-10T18:50:00.001+08:00

and so my body has finally give way. got headache since yesterday till today. can't take it liao.so no choice. came back home. was suppose to work at 530. but i really cannot make it le la. so no choice but to excuse myself from work and come home. tml having exams again. sian ah.. haven't study yet. but will study later. now i am gonna go slp liao. zzz...

gonna slp

2008-06-09T01:46:00.001+08:00

so i have give. can't really study much. no heart at all. ha ha. thinking about too much things. but anyway uncle called me just now ma. as per normal. so at least i did go through a bit lor. ha ha. sometimes dunno if i am teaching the uncle or the uncle is teaching me. ha ha. back to my la la land. or tml peter angel gonna suan me liao. ha ha. the fun fun peter!

stressed!

2008-06-06T00:01:00.002+08:00

i am so uber stress out!!!!!!! if only i could cry it out and release all the pressure inside me. it so suffocating!! ah!!!!!!!! so much things to do!!!!!!! but i am a human. just a human. adn a woman at tat. y is it tat suddenly everything seems to be push to me to finish it? y? i am so so so stress up!!!!!!!!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so pissed off. y can't they be more understanding. y does it always got to be like this? y? y? Y?

i really feel like giving it up. seriously. i really feel like giving up. yes i am a loser. i am a loser in the past and i am still one now.

i need a shoulder for me to rest on. would u be mine? would u pls listen to my grumbles? would u realise tat i have been waiting for u all these while? would u save me now? i need u now...

2nd day f school

2008-06-04T14:02:00.002+08:00

yesterday we did our first hands on lesson. very fun. ha ha. had lots of fun. was doing the shaping of nose. lol. super funny lor. ha ha. in the end i got a black triangle nose. lol. but lucky can be remove. if not i will go to work with a black triangle nose. ha ha.
having test late. sian ah!!! haven't study yet. no mood. so much things to do with so little time. need to buy contact lens. then later need to go study. haven't return my graduation robe as well. need to buy my contact lens. ah...

graduated

2008-06-02T18:08:00.000+08:00

so i have attended my graduation ceremony on the 29th. so i am now officially graduated from poly le.

school works are piling up. next week is exams week le.

today is my first of school. the tutor very funnny. lessons are fun and interesting. but its very expensive. need to purchase lots of stuffs. sian ah... where to find so much money sia. haiz...

tire

2008-05-23T02:03:00.001+08:00

so feaking tire. so much things to do but i have got so little time. been working here and there. then i need to juggle with my studies as well. somemore need to entertain friends as well. dots.. really dun have tat much time left for me to do wat i wanna do. so it will eat into my slping time.. dots... been a part time student is even more difficult to cope than a full time student....

busy busy busy bee...

2008-04-24T14:23:00.002+08:00

i am so so so busy!!haiz... no more time to slack liao. sian ah!!i think i am holding btw 2 jobs to 3jobs. not sure if i can really cope or not. my studies are having more projects pouring in. ah.. so many projects to do. so sian... dots... but i like wat i am doing now. cos its the path i chose. u lay on the bed tat u made urself.

jogging(walking)

2008-03-24T08:40:00.002+08:00

ha ha. so i wake up early in the morning just to go for a run. ha ha. but in the end it became a jog then it became a walk. ha ha. manage to run for a extreme short while then jog for another short while then become brisk walk to normal walking. ha ha. its not bad le lor. ha ha. consider the fact that i haven't exercise since i left secondary schools. which is 3 years ago? ha ha. so i haven't sweat due to exercise for 3 years plus le. ha ha. wanted to make a change in my life. thus went jogging today. gonna enjoy my hard to come 2 weeks break. will resume my work in zouk from april. not gonna be a part timer. gonna be a casual labour. ha ha. i need a bit more freedom. ha ha. went back to zouk on friday. miss them lots. ha ha. but they are a bit busy. cos got events ma. saw the ah sa from twins twice. wah she go toilet oso need bodyguard.... ha ha. really superstar sia. ha ha. today's my off day. and i got it all plan out le. ha ha.wed i got another off day. still in the process of planning. dunno wanna go donate blood or not leh. cos my hb level dunno hit le ma. ha ha.

i miss working at zouk!!! i miss it just like the way i miss working at red earth.

feeling emo

2008-03-16T23:00:00.002+08:00

so yesterday was my last day. and my effort to leave silently failed. some of the prs knows about it. cos someone told them about it. but well nvm. not a lot of them know after all. think around 5 person only. ha ha.and so i left. but i will be back. i promise. but when i dunno. i am currenly thinking of taking up a makeup course. i dunno la. i am so so so emo now. my mind is in a whirlpool. cos i dunno wat i want. look around me everyone seems to know wat they are doing adn wat they wnat. but i dunno leh. i just seem so lost adn confused. i am just so lost la. always not knowing wat i want. ahhh!!

anyway i am officially broke liao. my card got declined twice cos it has hit zero liao. sian... dunno wat the hell i am doing oso.

zouk flea market

2008-02-17T22:22:00.001+08:00

kk so i went to zouk today. ha ha.ask song ge, cocaine and tian mei out. hee hee. super packed. so go wine bar have drinks. ha ha. have fun lor. think the bartender gonna be qi shi by me liao. ha ha.

talk a lot crap a lot. i enjoy myself relatively today. ha ha.

now the question is am i egoistic or have no ego? ha ha.

new year

2008-02-11T00:16:00.000+08:00

at the start of this chinese new year i have been quite busy. ha ha. been working. then juggle a bit of ydc then also went house visiting. ha ha.

seems to be drinking quite a bit these few days. hee hee. ok la. still can hold my liquor. ha ha. at least when i got drunk i am at home. was drinking at my home when i got slight drunk. hee hee.

chinese new year

2008-02-06T17:29:00.001+08:00

a new year ahead. and a new emo me. ha ha. i dunno y i am feeling emo now...

disturbing video

2008-01-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

today not feeling tat well. slpt the whole day. was dead to the world. i am too tire le. and i have hit my limit le. basically someone push me to my limit too. haiz..

someone sent me an email. its a link to a website. its an extreme disturbing video. but i think its really wats going on now. basically i do like the fur fur stuff like stuff toys. but i dun like it when i know its real fur. can u imagine how disgusting it is to wear a fur coat. and the fur comes was once alive. its super disgusting la. i would like those fake fur lor. its too disgusting to wrap urself round with a real fur coat. i remember science lab use to have the specimen of animals. i find it super scary and disgusting lor. ahh.. humans are so damn evil and cruel.

the following is the link. its super disturbing and scary. i only mangae to see for 5 seconds plus.

http://www.furisdead.com/feat/ChineseFurFarms/

lost.

2008-01-25T18:27:00.000+08:00

he got me all so lost again. dots....

haiz,,

2008-01-18T01:54:00.000+08:00

so i am sick today... dots.. but ok la got to go back early. someone sent me home. thanks ah. but i am still not feeling well. ha ha. things haven't been going well in my life. ha ha.

headache

2008-01-12T18:23:00.000+08:00

i am having a headache now. not feeling tat well. but still ok. i am feeling more at peace le. after all the rollercoaster ride events these few days. can't remember wat test i have next week and the timing of the test.

mr right

2008-01-12T07:07:00.000+08:00

hmmm... my criteria of mr right.

non smoker. not even a social smoker.
no tatto
no piercing
not so vulgar
older than me
mature than me
love me
good character
nice personality
hardly drink
short hair

currently i can only tot of so much. ha ha.

so not me.

2008-01-09T22:48:00.001+08:00

this is so so so not me. ha ha. i am actually waiting him to come online when i know he won't ha ha. i know he's working now and wun be able to come online. but then i am still waiting him to come online. ha ha.

he behaves so differently. it always makes me wonder if the person i chat on msn is the same person who i sms to and is it the same person i talk to. ha ha. but ya i am waiting fr him to come online when i know its impossible. ha ha.

well well. but think this one will just be over in a week to 2 weeks time if i force myself to control it. ha ha.

updates.

2008-01-07T17:11:00.000+08:00

i have been so so busy with my life tat i have break my record. ha ha. i didn't slp from thursday to friday. got around 4 hours of nap. then was busy with my project again. then went to work then sat went school wwent meeting then went work. got home nap then go work. gosh. i miss my slp so much. today just simply can't wake up at all. finally have an off day. its such a hard to come off day for me and my dear dear.

i am in good mood these few days. ha ha. but think i long time no update. so i have no idea wat to update. hmmm. i went for camp on 28 to 30. then was working on christmas eve and new year eve. got scare by poppers, balloon etc. haha. then i like my team members. they are all so on adn fun. ha ha. we bonded. ha ha. then i got a few more scandals. ha ha.then i have deleted his messages at long last. part of my new year resolution. ha ha.

this year is a tire new year. ha ha. didn;t expect myself to be able to survive this kind of life for 4 months running. ha ha.

last but not least i am interested in you! ha ha. u got ur own charm. and u have touch my heart.

but i know. u wun be interested in me. so the 2 of us are impossible. so it will be like wat always happen. i will let the feeling go. ha ha. i am so used to doing this. hee hee.

Pissed off!!

2007-12-27T06:01:00.000+08:00

i am so fucking pissed off!!!!!!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!

SAVE ME!!

2007-12-26T00:19:00.000+08:00

can somebody save me? i am dying. i am so stress up. i have driven myself up to the wall. i am dying. i have so so much things to settle. but i have so so little time. i am so damn useless. i look down on myself. i despise myself. such small things i also can't handle. i really feel like cutting myself. i just wanna punnish myself. i just wanna cut myself. but i know i can't. but i really wanna cut myself. i really want to... some body save me please. i need u in my life. i need u.....

didn't slp

2007-12-13T08:53:00.000+08:00

k. so i kanna warning letter liao. so i can't skip anymore lesson le. and to prevent tat from happening i gave up my slp. didn't slp. was home at 410 plus. took some time to remove make up, shower etc. by the time i am done its 5 le and my hair is ultra wet. so might as well dun slp. so do some stuff to keep myself awake. but really too tire so took a nap. and someone gave me a wake up call. LOL. so surprise to receive the wake up call. but i do feel happy though. ha ha. at least i got the feeling tat someone dotes on me. ha ha. so here i am in the lesson. but can't concentrate. feel so much like slping. sian..

zouk out.

2007-12-09T23:16:00.000+08:00

weeeee!!!!!!!! yesterdya was fun!!!! wahahaha. although got quite a few idiot customers its fun overall. ha ha. must concentrate on the good things rather than the bad things. time passes damn fast. and i was damn busy. so many ppl sia. ha ha. but then zouk out and zouk like no diff leh. cos i'm too busy liao. can't see wat zouk out really was. ha ha. so its just like working in zouk but in the zip format. ha ha. cos time really passes by too fast liao. working with julia. so at least got someone to talk to when the pace got slower. but then really got too much stuff to do. so not much time to talk anyway. i got to do relieve too. at least i finallt feel tat i am not so useless. cos yesterday needed more of ticketing experience rather than bar experience. the dinner was the bet liao. chicken chop curry rice. ha ha. then supper i ate cup noodles. think i wait until 5 plus before i eat. then i didn't short any money too. ha ha. tats good. hee hee. hold my bladder until 1 am plus sia. tsk tsk. tats bad lor. but didn't know i can hold it for tat long anyway. ha ha. think too busy to think tat i wanna go toilet. and its too busy liao. no relief. so can't go toilet too. ha ha.
think its the first time i handle the most money liao. ha ha. the state of my business can fight with the event during halloween and the deepavali eve sia. think i work nonstop for a 4 hours plus bah. ha ha.

haiz.. shoping therapy! ha ha.

2007-11-29T20:41:00.000+08:00

i am utterly digusted by all the things tat have been happening to me. too much things are happening. though i never blog it. dun wanna remember wat i am going through now.

well shopping therapy still works for me. its has always been. : )

under the weather

2007-11-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

hm.. dunno wat to type. mind is malfunctioning. dun wanna remember wats happening for the past few days.
suffering from mood swing. but not as worse as before. not feeling well. haiz...

too much tots went hru my mind. too much things happen. think too much do too much. push myself too hard. have reach the limit. really feel like slping...

kiss good bye to my sweet 18

2007-11-11T21:03:00.000+08:00

wahaha. in another few hours time i will be 19 years old liao. so let me now do a recap on wat i've done for the past one year for my age 18. ha ha.

for the first time ever i celebrated halloween or should i say dress up for it. and twice for halloween. one for the volunteer and one for my work place.
for the first time ever i seriously juggle with 2 part time jobs and 1 full time study tat takes up quite a lot of my time.
for the first time ever i donate blood.
for the first time ever i got hurt ultra deep by tat close close friend of my, j.
for the first time ever i am holding a night time job.
for the first time ever i went to club legally. ha ha.
for the first time ever i drink alcohol. ha ha. my first taste of alcohol was at dxo. the ice of a vodlka lime. ha ha
for the first time ever i find an alcoholic drink is nice. triple jack.
for the first time ever i drink till i am really high. so high tat i can't stand still for too long without support. ha ha.
for the first time ever i finally get to work in a boutique.
for the first time ever i totally lost all my confidence or watsoever for work related stuff. for i sort of got fire.
the first time i go to terminal 3
i bought a laptop for myself.
i learn how to wear a pair of heels. to run to climb in heels.
i wear dress
i bought some personal stuffs for myself
i finally bought a 24 inch dolphin softtoy for myself.
for the first time ever i feel like scolding someone with f word in a funneral.
for the first time ever i felt that funneral was more effective in gathering ppl than chinese new year.
for the first time ever our class got a class chalet.
for the first time ever my friends came over to my house for overnight stay including a guy.
i maintain my record of falling down once every 2 months.
i like guys who smoke drink got tattoo .
i wear a gown for the first time.
i finally get to learn open outcry trading. and some other trading things.
i am starting to learn to love myself and pamper myself.
for the first i steam clothes with a steamer.
i break my own record. steam the most shirts in a day with a steamer.
for the first time i iron clothes with an iron board.
i only went to the cinema thrice in this year to watch movie.
for the first time i went to the cinema to watch movie alone. the death note 2.
for the first time i type words using a type writer.
i receive a "flower" for the first time. haha ha.
i join ydc and yap.
i act as a mascot. blood buddy.
i find a bit of meaning in my life.
experience earthquake when i'm not at home and has to evacuate out of the building.
experince earthquake twice in a day.
got to see how rock auditorium is like.
the most taiwan idol i've finish watching within a year.
i realise tat there is no such thing as true love.
i realise how fragile a love can be.
i've been to the most secondary school in a year.
i bought a pair of adidas shoes for myself.
i bought a nike bag.
i bought lancome thing for myself.
i bought a titus watch for myself.
i bought the most pairs of shoes this year.
i made a new pair of specs.
i start to be more concern about my grooming.
i got a tube dress.
i am on a diet.
i am getting to be vain. ha ha.
for the first i been to ang mo kio hub.
i bought a battery for my handphone to fix the problem.
i took part in a sudoku competition.
i am really into sudoku.
i learn to slack at work. i realise in office job is not about how much effort u put in. but its about ur boot licking skill. u may have place a lot of effort in but still. hah!
i do a website by my own. not the very pro kind. but at least its still a website.
i saw 2 guys quarreling on the bus.

kk so tats all i manage to think of for now. ha ha. can't recall much liao. hee hee. wait till i recall more things i 'll place it in again. ha ha.

high high high

2007-11-10T16:02:00.000+08:00

wahooo!!!!! ha ha. i am almost drunk sia. ha ha. got so damn high for the first time in my life thru alcohol. ha ha. can't really walk straight. a bit swaying. can't stand tat properly. feel my hands go weak. got almost no strength at all. haha. then my face feel hot. my bodyfeel hot initially then feel cold. ha ha. feel like laughing constantly. the whole of my body went red. yes the whole of my body not just my face. think my neck and my back are the reddest of all. haha. got to lean on a wall when i brush my teeth. ha ha. even when i'm laying on the bed i can feel my world is spinning. ha ha. not a very nice feeling but not tat bad of a feeling when i think back. ha ha. YES!! i finally manage to drink till i feel high and almost drunk. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

i like triple jack! ha ha. its sweet with not much liquor taste. nice drink. dun feel tat i am drinking alcohol. ha ha. dun like hot and sticky. not nice at all. but think slightly better than vodlka. singapore sling i dun really like it too. also it taste sweet initially but bitter at the end.
gonna try screaming the next time. then tequilla then long island tea. or maybe heiniken. ha ha. but not gonna let myself drink to tat stage liao. ha ha.

shopping

2007-10-12T16:39:00.000+08:00

today went to hawker center and shop. bought a handphone battery and also the leggings. so more or less wat i need has been bought le. saw a dress quite nice. but i didn't try on. maybe next week or wat then go see see again. since the hawker center has reopen i haven't went up there since. first time went up. change a lot. got a few nice shop tat can shop. sell youngster fashion clothes. not bad. ha ha. the price quite ok too. saw a shop tat got sell the lame i am not a plastic bag bag. didn't see the price. but i think should be quite cheap.

just remember tomorrow is hari rahya. tat means later work place most proabably would be crowded cos its a ph tml afterall. ha ha. gonna have more fun liao. wahahaha.

i simply love this song

2007-10-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

i am so so into this song right now. ha ha. love this song! it suits the situation. ha ha.

4 In The Morning by Gwen Stefani

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink inIt's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot

& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me downIt's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?

& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)(Give you all of me)

lol

2007-10-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

I am having fun with this man. ha ha.

sian..

2007-10-04T09:05:00.000+08:00

dots lor.. wake up so early just for this lesson.. lucky i skipped it last week. the tutor is so oh my god. can't really stand the way she talk. so de dots.... its too slang for me. hurting my ears. dunno she went which country for overseas studies. tats y got tat slang. haiz.. didn't have a nice impression of her. can say tat she should be quite concern for students. cos she did ask me y i didn't attend last week class. but then tat may also be because tat she wanted to strike a conversation with me or just wanna fill in the blanks. cos there aren't much students in the class earlier.
this lesson kills all my motivation to wake up and attend the 8am lesson. haiz...

ahh..... really can't stand her lesson. it is almost the same as my gems module effective job search. wat a waste of my time....

seriously lack of sleep thus very grouchy for today. went to bed at 5am and wake up at 6am plus. how good do u expect my mood to be for today?

hmm.....

2007-10-01T00:09:00.000+08:00

hmmm.... i dunno wat to blog le. just noe yesterday i am extremely emo and these few days i am emotionally unstable. so does not much things tat i wanna record down bah. hmmm... having fun at work. ha ha. tats all bah?

finally an off day

2007-09-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

wahahahaha. i finally got an off day. ha ha. a day tat belongs to me myself and no one else. ha ha. slept until 7pm wake up becos someone call my house. but i could have selpt all the way till tml. if i didn't remember i got a tv program at 7pm. so just wake and watch the drama lor. think i'm gonna slp soon liao once i stop feeling so full. ha ha. need to replenish moy eneergy after working non stop for the past 2 days. ha ha.

work

2007-09-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

just got back home from work. was working at suntec for these 2 days. yesterday damn tire. cos they changing the visual. the whole shop was in a mess. cos changing the display for the whole shop. shift the racks here and there. move the clothes here and there. unfold the clothes fold the clothes. steam the clothes and then still need to serve customer somemore. dots lor.. so tire. so in the end i bully one of my colleagues. wahahaha. feel so bad la. but he's a nice guy la. ha ha. he did most of the work. ha ha. so ps. push all the work to him to do. cos i really damn tire le la. by the end of the night i can't take it liao.

today think got another mystery shopper again. dots.. their mystery shopper not very pro sia. easy to identify. i initially dunno one. but after my first encounter now i noe liao. ha ha.

having fun and stress. haha.

2007-09-06T12:36:00.000+08:00

yesterday was my first day of work. quite stressful. afterall i am handling with money and the queue can be quite long too. and on my first day of work i met bing han, kelvin and their gang. ha ha. they all seem so shocked to see me there. LOL. and the bing han seems to wear the same clothes whenever he went there. lol.

saw the actor ben. he's a friendly guy. think he knows most of the peeps there.

my colleagues are nice. trying to get along with them. as in i am still new there. dun really know them well. so i need a bit of time to bridge up the connection with them. but yesterday my mentor was a nice and fun lady. ha ha. so had some fun. lol. other than her theres another guy but can't really click with him at the moment. so far i only manage to click with my mentor. thats all.

tat place i nice. its not as messy as wat everyone tots to be. its always safer to go there and work than to go there and play. i like the timing too. guess wat. i actually auto wake up at 10. i can't really sleep. i dunno why. nowadays my body isn't like my usual body. except for the gain weight part. ha ha. always been fat. other than that my appetite seems to get smaller. and i wake up relatively early compare to the past. can't sleep into the afternoon. but anyway its a good thing. cos afterall i need this kind of system in order for me to hold 2 jobs. so tat i dun feel tire or wake up late for work. ha ha.

做工的我才是最快乐的我。。。

ahh.. tire feet.

2007-09-02T22:39:00.000+08:00

just got back from work. feeling hungry and my feet are sore.

these two days working vivocity. colleagues are nice. had fun, and learn a lot of new stuff. haha. but i almost went nuts working with those 2guys. ha ha. they are fun and nice. but somehow i dunno y i work with them i got very stress up and almost went crazy. LOL.

had a lot of stuffs to do at the vivo branch. was steaming clothes, packing stock, rolling the clothes. ultra busy. so i stand almost the whole day for these 2 days. thus my feet are sore. ha ha. but i fun lor. although i have to arrange the big store room. only manage to tidy around three to four racks. ha ha.

k la. can say most thing is i volunteer to do one. cos this branch is too diff from the other 2 outlets le. so i need to arrange some stuffs for myself to gget used to it. ha ha.

for example their stocks not packed in sizes de. so i am a bit confused. but now i help them pack in sizes liao. so should roughly be easier for them to look for stocks liao.

but can't blame them for the tiny messyness of the store. cos it a big big shop. parkway and angmokio store is small. so its easier to mantain.

well i have lots of fun at work. i really prefer working to studying. for there is no such things as homework or projects. just give it ur best during working time. once u knocked off its really ur own time le.

today my supervisor say i am hardworking. ha ha. it has been such a long time since someone says i am hardworking...

shopping

2007-08-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

wahahaha. i finally get to shop after such a long time. feel so good. ha ha. bought myself a pair of shoes from DMK and some misch stuffs. got a bag from Charles and Keith as a present for her. still have around 2 more presents to get. still thinking about wat to get.
wanted to get the nail set thingy for myself. cost 30 bucks. but in the end i didn't. cos i think the shop dun accept nets. and i think i dun really need it bah. if i buy it would just be out of impulse. but right now feel so weird to see one of my fingers been shiny and the rest been the normal kind.

didn't really shop a lot today. cos my bank account hasn't really recover. need to work for another 2 months to 3 months plus before i can shop again.

saw this bag at le meridien. love it sia. but couldn't bring myself cos it has no brand and cost 57 bucks. while if in the past i think i would have just buy without second thought. i may even get 2. one for me and one for her. however, 今时不如往日所以我也只好省着点。。。really dun like the feeling of not been able to buy the things tat i want. haiz.. gonna take up more work shift if not get more jobs to let my bank account recover faster.

well shopping therapy still works for me. ha ha.

haiz.

2007-08-23T19:46:00.001+08:00

i am a failure. one big failure..........

2007-08-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

后来-刘若英

后来我总算学会了如何去爱
可惜你早已远去消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人一旦错过就不在

桅子花白花瓣
落在我蓝色百褶裙上
「爱你」你轻声说
我低下头闻见一阵芬芳
那个永恒的夜晚十七岁仲夏你吻我的那个夜晚
让我往后的时光每当有感叹
总想起当天的星光

那时候的爱情为什么就能那样简单
而又是为什么人年少时
一定要让深爱的人受伤
在这相似的深夜里你是否一样也在静静追悔感伤
如果当时我们能不那么倔强
现在也不那么遗憾

你都如何回忆我带着笑或是很沉默
这些年来有没有人能让你不寂寞

后来我总算学会了如何去爱
可惜你早已远去消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人一旦错过就不在

你都如何回忆我带着笑或是很沉默
这些年来有没有人能让你不寂寞

后来我总算学会了如何去爱
可惜你早已远去消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人一旦错过就不在

后来我总算学会了如何去爱
可惜你早已远去消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人一旦错过就不在

永远不会再重来
有一个男孩爱着那个女孩

exams!!

2007-08-22T00:32:00.000+08:00

kk i know i have an ea paper. but i am really not in the mood to study! ah!!! just can't concentrate.its god sis bdae today and i am not finish with her present. dots... will continue with her present in the next couple of days. explain to her le. so i dun think she will mind. hee hee.

well i'm gonna play a bit first before going to study. ha ha. typical of me. wahahaha. may buddha bless me!

hmmm..

2007-08-12T02:40:00.000+08:00

kk its been a long time since i last update my blog. but acually i have been updating it daily. but in my mind. ha ha. cos i dun wanna corrupt the whole of my blog with vugalur. there will be a lot of f words if i were to update my blog daily. ha ha. too much things happen liao. and i just got so f-ing piss off by everything. so just dun feel like blogging anything. and been tooo too busy le. juggling with too many things. really can kill me sia.

lost or not?

2007-07-25T02:26:00.000+08:00

i am feeling so lost these few days. dead damn tire. but am i really lost or was i too clear of wats happening tat got me lost. for i couldn't believe wats happening now is really happening?

harry potter

2007-07-18T23:20:00.001+08:00

kk. i just got back home. went to watch harry potter. the movie was a disappointment. or maybe i expected too much and it doesn't meet my expectation. its is so diff from the story la. for goodness sake. so many parts have been cut aways. dots la. if they can;t squeezed the story in to 136mins then let it be a 3hours movie then. so many parts has been cut off. dots lor. real disappointment. not much nice scences oso. maybe the last few scence the fighting scene can make it. tats all. the rest of the movie seriously cannot make it. the movie is lousy. an insult to the story. seriously reading the storybook is so much better than watching the movie.

Balcony

2007-07-05T00:19:00.000+08:00

现在的我有点累，但还不能睡。因为头发还湿湿的。刚才去了表科尼所以刚到家不久。哪个地方还好啦。不过还蛮奇怪的。没有甩子也没有扑克牌。电视银幕播放着运动节目。然后服务态度也不是很好。

明天将会是很忙的一天。咳。。。

ha ha. another graduation

2007-06-30T18:35:00.000+08:00

ha ha. today i went for another graduation ceremony. lol. among all the graduation ceremonyi've been to this is the most informal, shortest time taken and fun le. ha ha. may have graduated le. but this just marks the start of everything. ha ha.

kk. i hate to admit. the feeling is back again. AHHH!!! got to control and control once again. got to control. can't like my heart rules my mind. no. got to control. i can't do it again. no i can't.

好想他！

2007-06-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

阿！！好烦啊！到现在我都还没有开始读书！！！真糟糕！
刚刚看了我第一个暗恋对象的近况。他现在过得好好哦。而且他越来越帥了。我好羡慕他啊！
其实严格来说我是羡慕世界上所有的人吧。。
像我这样子的人。。。哈哈。。。
我也只有羡慕的份吧。
烦啊！！！！！！

end of chapter.

2007-06-22T19:15:00.000+08:00

ok. after today i have close another chapter in my life. ha ha. time for me to move on le. ha ha.

hello kitty notebook

2007-06-18T01:12:00.000+08:00

ahh!! i just saw on web that nec got this hello kitty notebook! damn nice la!!! really wanna buy it sia. haizz.. but me so poor liao no money to buy it sia. haiz.. its ulta nice sia.. but think even if i've the money i also dunno how to buy it. ha ha. the web site to buy the notebook is all in jap. ha ha. can't read jap. hee hee. so even if i got the money i also dunno how to go about buying it online. ha ha. oh well. i have no fate with hello kitty bah. ha ha.

clubbing

2007-06-14T23:38:00.000+08:00

kk so i went to club at zouk on wed. had around 2 hours of slp? having a headache now. gonna go slp once my hair dry. yesterday for the first time i tot i am in mos sia. but ok la. after tat everything turns out quite ok la. the guys are quite gentleman so its oughly ok bah. ha ha. but reallly cannot stand the fact of squezzing into the crowd aimlessly sia. i hate to be in the crowd with no personal space at all. its damn itrritating. yesterday saw the superstar guy. not bad looking. think his slightly drunk bah at the end of it. cos when i was on the cab when i saw he and his friends walked out. and his pattern looks a bit like drunk. didn't see him dance lor. wat a waste. only saw he and his friend drinking at the table. but anyway the table is so faraway from the dance floor. dun think he can squezze in and dance lor. ha ha. then yesterday someone bought us drink. didn't like the idea at all. thus i refuse to drink anything at all. they doesn;t seem tat nice too. told them so many times i dun wanna drink liao still wanna force me too. lucky they stop before i flare up. but i doubt i will flare up after all k and e are there. must give them face ma.
yesterday was indeed weird. was feeling tire at te dancefloor but wide awake on the cab. ha ha. maybe i was too tire of all the war bah. ha ha. yes i mean war. the war against the crowd. ha ha. trying to squezze in the crowd trying to protect urself and all the crap. its just like going on a war. exhuasted all my energy. got to use all my energy focusing and concentrating. in the end i am so exhausted. dance with my ees close. dun feel like opening my eyes at all.

today whole day kept busy at vivocity. but i have fun. haha. nice place nice ppl. everything is nice and fun. ha ha. but as things goes so nice the phobia in my heart is there once again. ha ha. i know its very dumb and silly of me to keep having tat feeling and fear. but i can't help but feel so. hasn't told anyone about this yet and i dun intend too. cos none of u will be able to understand it bah. and its gonna be hard for me to explain everything.

lastly my legs are aching from all the walking today. ha ha. but i really have fun. ha ha. and i receve the first ever flower i have received in m,y whole life. ha ha. finally someone gaveme a flower. ha ha.

easily influence

2007-06-14T23:33:00.000+08:00

kk. so these few days i finally comes to term with the fact of how naive or dumb i am. i get influence by others ultra easily. ha ha. i can't hold my own view of someone for long. i get influence too easily le. and i dunno y. its a tough for me to change though. haiz.. thus this always gets me into trouble. haiz... if u want me to like someone just say some good things about tat person in front of me and my mind has been brainwashed liao. or vice versa. u wants me to hate tat person just badmouth tat person in front of me. and tat person image in me is gone case liao. dunno y i am getting more and more easy to be influence liao. haiz....

ha ha.

2007-06-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

here i am in school. finally get to surf the net on my notebook. i am suppose to be studying. ha ha. but then as pernormal. ha ha. i wun be studying. ha ha.

ZOUK!

2007-06-03T21:30:00.000+08:00

i simply love zouk man. ha ha. went on the eve of vesak day. damn packed. ha ha. but its fun!!! ha ha. love there sia. the music is just simply my kind of music. ha ha. somemore its mambo jumbo ha ha. simply love it. ha ha. was kinda of these few days. mood was like on a roller coaster. was suffering from mood swing as per normal. haha. been out of job for quite some time so went back to tat job again. anyway my working status is very complicated. think u can consider me as having 2 jobs and also having not a single job. ha ha.

clinic

2007-05-24T00:40:00.000+08:00

so here i am sitting in my bro's room updating my blog. just got back home from the clinic. went to club at clinic today. clinic is ultra small. didn't find it fun. so got home early.

maybe not that the place is not fun. its more of my mood not right. when my mood is not right, watever i do just doesn't seem right. been having a lot of mood swing these few days. haiz.. something is just not right. and i am not sure of it at all.

wahahaha.

2007-05-17T14:24:00.000+08:00

wahahaha. today i'm feeling so happy!! ha ha.

zouk

2007-05-13T14:28:00.000+08:00

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I finally get to visit zouk yesterday. wahahahahha. so happy. hee hee. saw a few familiar faces. hee hee. had a chat with them. quite nice ppl. ha ha. zouk is so nice. ha ha. far far far much better than mos. i seriously dislike mos lor. but still prefer dxo. ha ha. cos dxo songs are songs tat i heard of one. hee hee. maybe zouk songs too updated. so i didn't hear before. hee hee.
but last night something happen spoil my mood. some idiotic guy. drink graveyard. got quite drunk. think he really gone lor. lay on the floor. i see liao damn pissed off. but his not my friend so k la didn't whack him. if my friend go club with me in the end dead drunk and lay flat on the road i'm gonna walk off lor. not gonna be bother. come on la. go clubbing to sort of enjoy. drink until so drink. so wet blanket lor. somemore vomit. lame la. then u spend so much on alcohol just to make urself lay by the roadside and vomit?! make no sense right. dumbass. hated this kind of ppl.

忙忙忙

2007-05-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

好忙啊！！！忙得我快要疯掉了！！一天只有24小时是不够的！我又不会分身术，大大小小的事都在同一天，同一个时段发生好烦啊！！！！！！不知道我是怎么搞得。为了买一台laptop把自己搞得那么狼狈。我看laptop还没买到我已经向阿妈报道了吧。哈哈。就为了存钱买laptop, 这几天我的算盘打得超响的。不止这样，我还拼了老命的工作。真的好累好累。还有一堆山的project还没做。我就快要疯了！！啊！！！！！！！！！！

sian..

2007-05-08T08:24:00.000+08:00

kk. today is the world red cross day. really not sure today wanna go st james and club or not. haiz.. most probablywill be working. haiz.. not say work is not nice la. just tat u know. no matter how auntie i am there are still tat tiny weeny bit of teenage blood flowing in me. i still wanna have fun. ha ha. well well. since i agree to work today so just go and work bah. helps to save money at the same time. hee hee. being very careful with my spending for the week. trying to save up money for a laptop asap. hee hee.

ok lor.

2007-05-06T22:54:00.001+08:00

ok lor. life has been very busy. but i am having fun too. ha ha.

YIPEE!!

2007-05-02T23:34:00.001+08:00

Yipeee!!!!
haha. i love this job man. haha. so nice!! ha ha. the colleagues are all so nice. haha. love it. haha.

tire

2007-04-24T20:10:00.000+08:00

yipee!! today i have successfully donated my blood. ha ha. the nurses over there are all so kind and friendly. they treat me very nice. haha.

kk. i've got the job. haha. today called and ask if i'm still keen on the job. of course i am. haha.

now feeling very tire. oso dunno y. can't seem to open my eyes properly.

job hunts

2007-04-24T08:04:00.000+08:00

haha. long time since i get to blog. has too much update le. espcially the clubbing thing on last last friday. haha. i just remember the last day of attachment. hee hee. a bit too late le. so dun feel like blogging about that. ha ha. well well. so yesterday i went for job hunting.
but now in the process of waiting for results. haha. not sure which job i would get. ha ha. Had around 1 or 2 interviews. Not too sure. haha. one is really i know is interview cos she said so. haha. hope i get that job. the other one she didn't really say its an interview so i'm not sure. haha. but think they really wanna hire me though. not sure. but then this job is third on my list. ha ha. the one that is on the second is the ice-cream shop. ha ha. but low chances of getting it. very low.

well later i'm gonna donate blood. ha ha. lesson starting. bye bye!

逃避

2007-04-11T14:07:00.001+08:00

一直以来我都一直在逃避。不断的逃避着我所面对的问题。一直到问题变得越来越大时，我就会想用死来解决一切的一切。很没出息吧。这就是我。哈哈。

应该忘了的事我却没忘。一直耿耿于怀。是我不想放下呢？还是我真的放不下？我不知道。或许是我不想知道。

tired

2007-04-09T09:52:00.000+08:00

well, yesterday went idol chasing. the day before went for the workshop thingy. the day before the day went for picnic. dead damn tire. can u imagine i fall asleep while watching tv at 9plus!! not the 1 am or 2 am tv programme. but a 9pm show!! tats how tire i am. the first fell asleep when watching 9 pm show. not tat i am having fever or wat lor. i feel so tire!!
but i had some fun la. the past few days was fun la. haha. the paper areoplane. haha.

i am forcing myself to not think about the phone call.

yo yo

2007-04-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

kk. it has been a very long long long long time since i last blog using my house com. haha. this weekend is damn pack. haha. shall make time next week to go for blood donation. hee hee. hopefully i won't kanna reject again. hee hee. today really enjoy myself. haha. although my shoulders are still aching. but i am still happy. haha. very happy. am i extremely happy becos i wanted to cover the hurt i have suffer or the disappointment? maybe i shouldn't be feeling disappointment. cause afterall i expected it anyway. maybe can't really accept that it really turn out the way i tot to be bah. haha. well well. shouldn't care so much bah. just enjoy my hectic weekend can le bah. haha. i wanna buy shoes!! wat i am lacking in is shoes. but dunno wat got into me. i keep buying bags. haha. bought 3 bags in 2 weeks time? haha. now i have too much bags liao. the wardrode can't stuff everything in. haha. think when school reopen i can bring a different bag everyday for one week? or plus plus? haha. but me lazy la. wun keep changing bags bah. haha. looking forward to tomorrow? a bit bah. but the lunch bah me still very the sian sia. haha.
and ya its been a long time since i last watch movie too. haha. go out on a so called "date" always quite sometime ago liao. haha. but anyway. who cares. life is like a roller coaster. there's up and down. now that my life has no up it wun go down. haha. my lame theory. hee hee. another week to go. and i have to face with a brand new stress and challenge. but i gonna be a brand new me hopefully bah. hee hee. gonna take up more volunteer's job. hee hee. but if i does that i gonna have lesser time to work adn earn money. hmmm. gonna think about it. haah.

happy birthday

2007-04-05T09:21:00.000+08:00

Its your birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

lunchtme

2007-04-02T13:12:00.000+08:00

so here i am typing my blog while happily eating my cup noodles and also anwsering phone calls. doing three things at one go can be confusing. haha. nvm. i've just hang up the phone. so now doing 2 things at the same time. ha ha. so the picnic is set. this coming friday at the botanical garden. haha.
today 2 of them on leave. 2 of them on mc. so i am quite busy. but i like it. haha. time passes faster and i get to enjoy my own space and privacy.

omg. i am a desporado.

2007-03-29T13:13:00.000+08:00

omg. haha. to think that i like someone who smokes. haha. so not me. haha. no need to guess, none of you who reads my blog knows him. haha. he is definitely not sl. haha. think i have work under female working environment for too long liao. haha. so become ultra despo. to think that i like the guy who smokes. not only that. the guy has moustache or should i say beard too. haha. so off. haha. really not the kind of guys who i will like. hee hee.
been here for too long makes my mind goes bonker. like guys who i am not suppose to like. haha.

still alive

2007-03-15T09:35:00.000+08:00

i am still alive and kicking. and is kicking with heels. haha.

learn a lot of things. how to wear heels and walk and run and crossing over the short barricades.
wahaha. somemore doing all this with skirts. wahahaha. i am still not the femine or the girl girl type. wahahaha.

yesterday was ok. i get to do wat i like most. use the typewriter and type some stuffs. wahahaha. so happy!!! haha. really love to use the typewriter. haha.

once again: I HATE TELEMARKETING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Earthquake

2007-03-06T13:41:00.000+08:00

there is a serious earthquake earlier. and all of us have to evacuate the building. its the second time i am experiencing it. but it is much more serious compare to the first one.